Two worlds – one mind: between creative fireworks and ‘nothing works anymore’.

AuDHD. Neurodivergent.

‘Why can you spend hours poring over the smallest details of a star map, but forget that today is your project deadline?’

My client heard this question many times over a long period of time. At the time, he didn’t know why he ticked so differently from other people. Today, he knows the answer, and those around him are also beginning to understand what lies behind it. For him, it’s both everyday life and a state of emergency: he constantly swings between full throttle and standstill – between the pull of his starry worlds and the chaos of his schedule.

A normal day with AuDHD.

One day, and two scripts

There are days when one of my clients with AuDHD, for example, becomes completely absorbed in his so-called special interest – or spends hours immersed in a project as if possessed. Then he sits over old star catalogues, meticulously tracing tiny constellations, comparing historical sky maps with current telescope photos, researching cross-references, making countless notes. The coffee remains half full, lunch is forgotten, time and fatigue simply do not exist. Highly functional autism in turbo mode: full, absolute concentration, absorbed in every detail.

But this comes at a price. When the battery eventually runs out – after hours, sometimes days – the crash comes: total exhaustion, often followed by emptiness, headaches, social withdrawal. The body suddenly feels heavy as lead, the brain shuts down. A blackout or shutdown – as if his system were relentlessly resetting itself.

At the same time, another scenario lurks in the mind: suddenly, the vibration of a mobile phone or a random thought (‘Where are my house keys?’) is enough to shatter the crystal-clear focus. ADHD. Hecticness spreads, impulses whirl through the day, thoughts jump from tab to tab, from the to-do list to the washing up and back again. What was previously crystal clear dissolves into chaos – until the cycle starts all over again.

Outwardly: functioning, inwardly: chaos

From the outside, many people with AuDHD seem to ‘function’ effortlessly: they ‘deliver’ great results, give brilliant presentations, process endless emails, develop creative solutions. But what appears efficient and smooth at first glance is often a real feat of strength from the inside, costing a lot of energy.

While their face smiles, thoughts and feelings battle in the background like a storm. To drown out the constant overload, many turn up the music, try to regulate themselves with coffee, cola, sugar or, in the evening, alcohol or other substances – anything to find some peace, endure the system, stop themselves or switch off for a moment.

What no one sees: the inner struggle for order, structure, a little inner clarity – at a high price.

The feeling of not quite fitting into this world has accompanied many since childhood – but it is only with the diagnosis or the term AuDHD that the experience is given a name and a map. Finally, language emerges for one’s own logic, sensitivity to stimuli, hyperpowers – and seemingly groundless lapses.

Torn between structure and chaos: the reality of AuDHD

People with AUDHS often find themselves literally standing on the bridge between two worlds:

• The need for structure, clarity and routines in certain areas (autism)
• And the inner tsunami of impulses, curiosity and restlessness (ADHD)

The result is elation when they achieve something special – but also deep despair over seemingly mundane everyday problems such as losing a bicycle key.

Some call it chaotic, detail-oriented, difficult – others admire the creativity, depth and lightning-fast associations. Almost no one suspects what it costs to constantly switch back and forth between these poles – and to pretend that everything is ‘completely normal’.

And what is normal anyway?

What seems ‘completely normal’ to many outsiders – getting up in the morning, driving to work, completing tasks, making small talk, keeping appointments – is a daily tightrope walk for people with AuDHD. What is considered ‘normal’ by society hangs over everything like an invisible yardstick. For neurodivergent people, this normality often feels like a gap next to their own lives – unattainable, somehow alien.

It takes enormous strength to constantly pretend that you belong and have everything under control. In fact, two scripts are running simultaneously: one’s own, with all its peculiarities – and the script of ‘normal’ society, which assumes conformity and ease.

The previous story is an example of what people with AuDHD juggle day after day: two scripts in one life. In the midst of ‘normal’ society – but never truly arriving.

The difficult diagnosis: Why AuDHD is often overlooked

‘‘I always knew something was different – but I never would have thought that two such different diagnoses could coexist within me.’ That’s what he tells me. And I hear sentences like this over and over again. Because living with AuDHD often feels like an invisible balancing act between worlds that is rarely noticed – and even more rarely truly understood. On the outside, everything is ‘okay’ or even extraordinary; on the inside, there is a silent struggle for clarity, structure and inner peace.

Either/or? The classic diagnostic trap

When a person decides at some point to seek professional help, a diagnostic maze often follows. ADHD or autism – for many doctors and therapists, this is still an either/or question. The official criteria do not ‘allow’ both together.

For example, someone who was labelled with ADHD as a child rarely gets the chance to consider the autistic aspect – and vice versa. As a result, many affected individuals live for years or even decades only ‘half recognised’: no category really fits, every test feels like a shoe that is too tight.

But in reality, life with ADHD does not work according to pigeonhole logic. There are no clear contours, no clear answers. Symptoms intertwine, obscure each other, and often do not fit into any category.

The onion principle: masking and the double game of hide-and-seek

Masking is particularly exciting – and challenging. Most people with AuDHD are masters of adaptation. They learn early on to conceal and compensate for their peculiarities: Chaotic stimulus perception is concealed by meticulous structure. Hyperactivity is transformed into productive exuberance – in meetings, in front of colleagues. Socially unusual behaviour is hidden behind rehearsed small talk formulas. And woe betide anyone if that goes wrong: then the system works feverishly in the background to cover up the ‘mistake’, justify it or grieve over it for the rest of the evening.

The problem: This double masking takes an incredible amount of energy – and comes at a price. Only in the quiet hours, in retreat, does exhaustion set in. Many clients tell me that after social events, they can’t feel anything for days, as if someone had pulled the plug.

From a scientific perspective: The underestimated overlap

Research is slowly discovering how large the overlap really is. In children and adolescents, it is assumed that at least one in three children with an autism spectrum disorder also shows ADHD characteristics (cf. Leitner, 2014).

The reverse is also true: many adults with ADHD have undiagnosed autistic traits. Nevertheless, the combination remains invisible for a long time – often because we still think in terms of old, rigid diagnostic systems. The WHO, the DSM-5 and even many specialist centres struggle with the diagnosis.

As a result, many adults (and their families) live with a double question mark – and double the pressure.

Diagnosis? None. The phantom in the system

This is one of the biggest challenges for many of my clients: The diagnosis ‘AuDHD’ does not yet officially exist.

Neither the ICD-10 nor the current ICD-11 contain a separate code or name for the combination of autism and ADHD. They either refer to autism spectrum disorder or ADHD. Both at the same time? Not officially (yet).

Digression: What do ICD-10 & ICD-11 actually mean?

ICD stands for ‘International Classification of Diseases’, in other words: International statistical classification of diseases and related health problems. It is the World Health Organisation’s (WHO) most important diagnostic directory worldwide.

All physical and mental illnesses are assigned a numerical code. Doctors, clinics, psychotherapists – they are all obliged to assign diagnoses and bill according to this system.

• ICD-10 is the 10th version of this classification system, which will remain authoritative in Germany until 2026.
• ICD-11 is the new international version that is being introduced worldwide and describes many diagnoses (e.g. autism) in a more differentiated manner.

What does this mean in practical terms?

Only diagnoses that have their own ‘code’ (e.g. F84.x for autism or F90.x for ADHD) can be officially made and treated. A mixed diagnosis such as AUDHD does not exist in it so far.

The American classification system DSM-5 has also recognised that autism and ADHD can occur together – but there is no separate dual diagnosis or specific guidelines. The result: Many people are treated for years based on a single diagnosis, and there are often no tailored therapy options for the ‘overlapping’ symptoms. Only slowly – and often on the initiative of those affected themselves – are doctors, coaches and therapists venturing into this overlap.

What is now called AuDHD is a new field of research that is only now slowly emerging, supported by self-help, everyday experiences and committed professionals. The feeling of not fitting into the mould is therefore neither imagination nor inability, but simply the result of a blind spot in the diagnostic system. However, the reality for many people already shows that

… this combination is part of everyday life. It deserves visibility, resources and new approaches.

The emotional dilemma: highly functional and often at the limit

When you ‘function’ on the outside, those around you usually believe that everything is fine. But on the inside, things often look different.

A client once told me about the mixture of pride and despair he felt when everything became too much again: ‘I can go into a meeting as if I were the boss, impress everyone, know everything – and then in the evening I don’t have the energy to make a salad.’

This gap between maximum performance and maximum withdrawal is typical for many people with AUDHS. The result is chronic stress, depression, burnout – and the feeling of never quite ‘belonging’ anywhere.

Many clients describe their greatest longing as quite simple: “To be allowed to be myself somewhere, without having to explain myself. Without this constant inner conflict.‘

The invisible dilemma has many faces.

On the outside, the person smiles and ’functions” highly effectively. On the inside, a tug-of-war is raging. And this is precisely where the desire to be truly seen and to find a solution that helps in the long term arises.

Between dopamine rush and sensory overload: what really happens in your brain with AuDHD

Sometimes in my practice, I hear statements such as:

‘I know what I want to achieve – but something in my head always pulls the emergency brake or suddenly jumps into the next universe.’

This feeling of going through life with a dual operating system is, to a large extent, a neurochemical reality.

What happens in your brain when autism and ADHD collide? Why do many clients feel both ‘overwired and undersugared’ at the same time? It’s worth taking a look inside – and finally understanding why certain things cannot simply be solved with “discipline” or ‘positive thinking’.

Two circuits, one head – and a constant state of emergency

Let’s first look at the two ‘main players’:

Autism: The brain in detail mode

On the autism spectrum, the brain often works with a very special signature:

• Stimulus processing often occurs unfiltered, almost like a high-performance microphone. Every sound, light, and social nuance is received simultaneously. For example, my clients cannot immediately move on to the next conversation after a 20-minute phone call; they first need time to process.
• Serotonin (a neurotransmitter and our mood and satisfaction messenger) and glutamate (which plays a role in impulse control) show different values and distribution patterns in autism than in neurotypical people. This can mean, for example, that a minor argument or an unexpected change can trigger much stronger feelings of stress or overwhelm in an autistic person than in others – or that it is more difficult to calm down again after an upset. Similarly, making quick decisions or stopping inner impulses can be much more challenging in everyday life.
• The synapses (connections between nerve cells) often connect differently, leading to an astonishing perception of detail, but sometimes making it more difficult to ‘interpret the big picture’.

The result:

high sensitivity, all-or-nothing thinking, special interests and sometimes sensory overload that sweeps through the system like a storm.

ADHD: The dopamine tango

In the ADHD brain, the neurotransmitter dopamine – known as the ‘reward and motivation hormone’ – often switches to low gear:

• Dopamine transport functions differently, sometimes too little reaches the crucial areas of the brain (e.g. the prefrontal cortex, the area responsible for control and planning).
• Noradrenaline, which aids concentration and motivation, is also imbalanced.
• The default mode network (your mental idle state, where daydreams arise) constantly switches on and off.

The result:

problems getting started, becoming stuck on routine tasks – and at the same time, lightning-fast creativity when something grabs them emotionally. At the same time, many people experience mental ‘hyperfocus’ – where suddenly the world fades away for hours and only their own special interest matters.

AuDHD – When everything and nothing happens at the same time

Chaos meets absolute emptiness. And now for the special feature: when the two come together, the result is not an additive but an amplified system.

Typical abnormalities in the brain in AuDHD:

• Dopamine deficiency and serotonin imbalances encounter an “open stimulus floodgate”
• The stimulus filter is unstable: sometimes every little thing becomes a megaphone, sometimes suddenly nothing gets through
• Social signal processing (keyword: ‘theory of mind’) is like clockwork on two frequencies: analytical and impulsive
• Neurotransmitters such as GABA and glutamate – otherwise responsible for relaxation – are out of balance, which can lead to increased susceptibility to stress and sleep problems

But what does that mean in concrete terms?

Imagine an everyday situation: shopping at the supermarket.

Someone with AuDHD perceives every detail at once due to their open sensory gate – the humming of the refrigerated shelf, the bright colours at the checkout, the babble of voices, their own shopping list and the laborious social scanning of the other people in the shop. Because dopamine and serotonin are lacking in a balanced way, it is difficult to concentrate on what is really important or to remain calm in stressful situations. If an unexpected situation then arises – for example, if a product is missing or someone is standing in the way – the stimulus filter can suddenly ‘shut down’, thoughts break off or emotional overload occurs.

The result: extreme tension, inner exhaustion, sometimes a sudden shutdown or the feeling of having to function ‘on two channels at once’.

This often creates cycles that take a lot of energy: phases of extreme alertness, openness to stimuli and creativity can seamlessly turn into complete blockage, withdrawal or sleep problems – making the whole system even more difficult to regulate.

Many affected people describe it this way:

‘My inner motor is running hot – but it often feels as if the brakes are sporadically released or completely blocked.’

Many people may now be asking themselves: Can all this even be measured or seen? How does this inner turmoil in my head feel “scientifically”?

This is where it gets exciting – because the answer literally lies in the electrical activity of your brain…

Brain waves in the dopamine tango – What can be seen in the EEG in AuDHD?

You may be asking yourself: How do researchers and therapists actually ‘see’ the chaos and peculiarities in concrete terms?

Answer: Among other things, by measuring brain waves – i.e. electrical activity that is made visible using an EEG (electroencephalogram).

Typical for ADHD

• Increased slower theta and delta waves while awake – the brain ‘sleeps’ a little, so to speak, when focus is actually required.
• At the same time, there are fewer ‘beta waves’, which represent alertness and purposeful action.

Typical of autism

• Often increased ‘beta activity’ (sometimes referred to as ‘high beta’ or ‘monitoring brain’), which can be accompanied by overexcitement, brooding or tension.
• At the same time, the synchronisation between different areas of the brain is often different – this can lead to both high-performance insular giftedness and problems with stimulus filtering.

With AuDHD?
In this case, mixed patterns often appear in the EEG:

• Parts of the brain show patterns of overexcitement (high beta frequencies), while other areas operate in sleep frequency mode (excessive theta/delta).
• Some things change every second: sudden overload, then ‘drifting off’, then highly concentrated hyperfocus again – this can sometimes be seen in the EEG.

What does this mean in everyday life?
This very mixture of brain waves reflects the experience of many clients:

• On the one hand, the feeling of never really being able to switch off
• On the other hand, difficulties in getting started or “staying on the ball” when routine or sensory overload prevail
• Sleep disorders, daydreaming, and flashes of inspiration mix—often on the same day, sometimes even in the same hour

Another example from my practice: One of my clients reported that he usually eats very little during the day because every large meal slows him down so much that he “can’t get going” for the rest of the day and is practically incapable of doing anything. Only in the evening—when the pressure to perform is over and his system is exhausted anyway—does he eat his first proper meal. This is also a strategy for dealing with the unstable regulation between overstimulation, shutdown, and constant inner ups and downs.

And the connection to neurochemistry?
Dopamine, serotonin, and other neurotransmitters directly influence which brain waves dominate. Conversely, targeted relaxation, meditation, neurofeedback, sleep, and exercise can positively support wave distribution and thus also neurochemical balance.

This means:
Knowing your “brain frequency patterns” makes it clear why some things feel contradictory—and opens up new avenues for individual, targeted support: from therapy to nutrition, sound, yoga, and nature experiments with music, tones, or forms of movement.

Science in pictures: How AuDHD can be explained neurobiologically
Recent studies (e.g., from neuroimaging research) show that
people with AUDHS have specific characteristics in the activity and wiring of certain areas of the brain—especially in

• Networks for attention and self-control
• Centers for emotional regulation
• Structures responsible for stimulus filtering and stress response

This means that
there are real, measurable reasons for many symptoms. The feeling of powerlessness that is often experienced (“Why can’t I just…?”) is not a personal failure—it is an expression of unique neural complexity.

Note: You are not “at fault,” but rather particularly interconnected.
Behavior that is sometimes considered “lazy,” “inconsistent,” or “exhausting” can be explained biochemically—and with more knowledge, it can also be addressed in a more targeted manner.

What does this mean for medication, nutrition, and therapy?
Since neurochemistry is a prerequisite for individual experience, not every therapy or medication has the same effect on all those affected:

• ADHD medications (such as methylphenidate, amphetamines) sometimes help, but for some people with ADHD, they only work in the short term or even cause more hyperactivity.
• Antidepressants, neuroleptics, and similar drugs can help, but they must be dosed and combined on a very individual basis.
• Polyvagal-oriented strategies, exercise, mindfulness, and nutrition (e.g., with regard to omega-3 fatty acids and amino acids) influence neurochemistry.

One factor that is often overlooked is nutrition, especially the consumption of sugar and highly processed carbohydrates. Many people with AUDHS report that while a quick sugar fix provides short-term energy, focus, or a feeling of “calmness in the mind,” it promotes instability in the long term: a sudden drop in blood sugar after the sugar high intensifies the ups and downs and can lead to cravings, mood swings, or even greater exhaustion.

In addition, chronically high sugar consumption, but also an overall unbalanced diet, promote so-called low-level inflammatory processes in the body. This “latent” inflammation makes the nervous system even more reactive to stress and sensory overload, promotes sleep problems, makes emotional regulation more difficult, and, in combination with unstable neurochemistry, can even exacerbate symptoms of ADHD.

• Sleep, (social) detox, and stimulus management are also crucial because an overactive or overtired brain reacts even more sensitively.

Important: When considering effective treatment for AuDHD, medication and psychotherapy should always be supplemented by looking at diet, inflammatory factors, and taking breaks in everyday life—because small, conscious changes can make a huge difference for some people affected.

Knowledge is (self-)compassion
Those who understand—whether as affected individuals or outsiders—that a person with a neurodivergent AUDHS brain simply functions differently and cannot become “normal” through increased effort or discipline can also deal with these (and their own) idiosyncrasies more calmly. Knowledge and recognition make it easier to see one’s own limits, develop individual strategies in one’s own everyday life, and remove the constant internal (or external) pressure to be responsible for something that can be explained neurobiologically.

Between high tension and emptiness: Why AuDHD is a risk factor for addiction

What do many people with AuDHD experience? Let me give you an example:

Tom is one of those people who always seems to have everything under control – his job, appointments, even small talk. But as soon as he gets home, his head is like a radio turned up to full volume: conversations from the day, dozens of to-do lists, the occasional beeping of his cell phone, or the memory of something he has forgotten. Everything is jumbled together. Just switch off? No chance.

What is often overlooked is that for many people, AuDHD means not only inner restlessness, but also an almost permanent “search for danger.” The nervous system remains in alarm mode—constantly alert, tense, on guard, wondering if something is going to happen, if a mistake is looming, if something important is missing. This unconscious scanning, this constant tension, costs an enormous amount of energy. The body is programmed to react, to flee or attack, sometimes without any real external danger existing.

Tom says: “There are evenings when I hope that a glass of wine will make the noise quieter. Or I reach for chocolate. Not because it’s so delicious, but so that my head finally calms down a bit. “

Sometimes he sits on his phone for hours, scrolling without really noticing anything. Eating, drinking, even Netflix somehow happen on the side—the main thing is that there is something there that slows down the chaos in his head for a moment.

In moments like these, it becomes clear: the addiction to input, to stimulation, to numbness – all of this is a (often desperate) attempt to interrupt the endless inner alarm signal for a brief moment. Instead of real relaxation, however, there is often only emptiness, exhaustion, or a crash into even more restlessness.

What he describes is not the end of the working day as it is for others. It is the constant struggle for peace and quiet – a kind of emergency brake to relieve the inner stress, the constant restlessness, and the feeling of being overwhelmed by one’s own storm of thoughts, at least for a few minutes. And the next day? The cycle starts all over again.

This is exactly what many people with ADHD report: The search for a stop button for their own brain – and the feeling that it simply does not exist.

Numerous studies show that people with ADHD – and especially those with a combination of autism spectrum disorder and ADHD (AUDHS) – have a significantly increased risk of substance abuse and addiction (e.g., Luderer et al., 2021; Sizoo et al., 2010; Pohl et al., 2020).

The polyvagal perspective: Addiction is not the cause – it is an (insufficient) solution

People with AuDHD are often on the brink neurochemically and neurologically:

• The reward system (dopamine!) is set to hunger, searching, “more, more,” but everyday life is often exhausting, overstimulating, or monotonous.
• The body seeks relaxation and social security—but does not find it in the typical sense because the system is in a state of constant alarm or withdrawal (polyvagal theory: constantly in the sympathetic or dorsal vagus).
• Masking and adaptation exacerbate the basic feeling of alienation and exhaustion.

The brain searches for something that brings short-term order, control, or at least numbness—and all too often ends up resorting to substitute strategies. Food, alcohol, shopping, the internet, work, TV series—all of these are attempts to put the inner alarm bell on pause.

Addiction (whether substance-related or not) works because it at least temporarily dampens overwhelming feelings (sensory overload, emptiness, restlessness, social insecurity). It is a strategy, not a character flaw.
Important: Addiction arises from the longing to finally feel safe, connected, or at least calm.

Typical addiction patterns in AuDHD

Highly functional, highly sensitive people with ADHD are particularly prone to addictive behavior—and are often very skilled at hiding these strategies.

Many of the following patterns can, of course, also occur in other people. However, in ADHD and especially in AuDHD, the risk is scientifically significantly increased:

The specific neurobiology – with unstable dopamine levels, increased susceptibility to stress, chronic inner restlessness, or the pursuit of short-term rewards – makes emotional and substance addictions much more likely.

Those affected unconsciously seek ways to temporarily alleviate their extreme sensitivity to stimuli, feelings of emptiness, or constant inner “excess.” As a result, the brain learns to seemingly “regulate” itself through external stimuli or substances.

Typical patterns that emerge include:

• Workaholism/performance addiction: Those who are recognized externally can drown out their inner chaos for a while.
• Food cravings, binge eating, emotional eating: Eating as a quick neurochemical regulation when everything is overstimulated.
• Alcohol/nicotine/drugs: Shutting down, numbing the nervous system, finally being “offline.”
• Digital addictions (cell phones, social media, online shopping): Quick dopamine kicks, a pat on the back for the starved reward system.
• Perfectionism: Constant optimization so that there is at least a brief feeling of control inside.
• Relationship and attachment addictions: Search for validation and support—even (and often) in toxic patterns.

Many of these addictions are socially accepted or even rewarded. They masquerade as “normal” coping strategies and remain undetected—even by doctors and therapists!

Important: It is precisely the special wiring in the brain in (AU)DHS that makes the vicious circle of tension, short-term reward, and renewed emptiness particularly persistent. Therefore, AUDHS addiction mechanisms require not only therapy or attempts to stop, but also a deep understanding of the underlying neurological dynamics.

Neurobiological and polyvagal connections

The combination of dopamine deficiency (craving for reward), serotonin imbalances (longing for stability), and an alarm mode in the nervous system creates several “addiction drivers” at once:

• One part wants to numb itself (dorsal vagus)
• One part wants to live more, feel more, vibrate more (dopamine and norepinephrine)
• One part tries to constantly react to dangers (sympathetic nervous system overstimulation due to social insecurity, masking, or over-perfectionism)

The result:
Constant inner turmoil—followed by self-reproach, shame, and social withdrawal. The addictive substance or behavior provides a quick fix, but never security or genuine peace of mind.

Addictive behavior is desperate self-regulation.

It is important to state this clearly:
Addiction in AUDHS is almost always a form of self-regulation—an attempt to balance one’s own system.
If the addictive behavior is simply “trained away” without offering better ways of regulation, the problem remains—or is merely displaced.

That is why, as a trauma-sensitive and polyvagal therapist, I help my clients to first recognize:

• What is the real feeling of longing behind it?
• Where can I experience genuine, lasting calm, grounding, and connection?
• What small skills, physical exercises, breathing techniques, and everyday tricks can help me get into the “green” nervous system?

True relaxation, social connection, exercise, music, high-quality social contacts, nature—all these are ways to gradually escape the spiral of addiction.
Knowledge, compassion, and slowly growing self-confidence are crucial. YOU are not alone in this search.

Conclusion: Addiction is never a weakness, but rather an expression of a clever, yet short-term attempt at self-healing.
With the right understanding, targeted nervous system work, and genuine acceptance, there is a way out—and it is as individual as your life with AuDHD itself.

Superpowers and downsides – ADHD meets high-functioning autism

Every superhero has their origin story.
And so it is with AuDHD: those who use two operating systems often find themselves torn between genius and madness—and discover their own unique powers and pitfalls on their journey through life.

A client recently said to me:
“Some people call me creative, visionary, totally profound. I never know whether today I’ll produce my most brilliant work—or whether I’ll once again spend hours staring at my to-do list and not be able to get started. Both sides are part of who I am.”

Hyperfocus and turbo creativity – The gift of double difference

Many people with AUDHS report phases of almost magical productivity, original ideas, and visionary clarity.

• Hyperfocus: There are moments when they become completely absorbed in their task, forgetting time, hunger, and sleep, and become specialists in their field of interest.
• Out-of-the-box thinking: Where others take the standard approach, their brain thinks in new ways, finds unexpected solutions, and connects topics as if by itself.
• Detail genius and pattern recognition: The ability to recognize the crucial detail or pattern in complicated systems where others have long since given up.

These phases are often admired in careers, art, research or social projects.

What is also striking is that empathy and analytical distance can be strongly pronounced in AuDHD at the same time – empathy is DIFFERENT, profound, sometimes erratic, but more intense than in others.

The downside – when all forces pull at once

But it is precisely these gifts that can become a trap when there is a lack of balance:

• Volatility: Once the hyperfocus is over (or a stimulus is too strong), the system collapses. Exhaustion, emotional numbness or procrastination follow.
• Sensory overload/overstimulation: The constant flood of information, impressions and social codes can overwhelm the nervous system. The result? Withdrawal, shutdown or irritable impulsivity.
• Perfectionism as self-protection: Many develop excessively high expectations of themselves – out of fear of making mistakes or being perceived as “chaotic”. But no one can maintain this permanently.
• Social insecurity: Especially when both poles are at work at the same time, it is difficult to feel socially secure in the space between them. Masking becomes a survival strategy – at the price of exhaustion.

The constant commute – rocket and deep-sea diver

Living with AuDHD often feels like a constant pendulum swing:
one moment you are bursting with ideas, the next you feel inhibited or as if you are wrapped in cotton wool.
One moment you’re lightning fast, the next you’re slowed down to a near standstill.

Many clients also experience so-called ‘mixed states’:
moments of genius and creative explosiveness alternate with disorientation, lack of drive and sudden social withdrawal.
It is not uncommon for joy at one’s own abilities to quickly turn to doubt when the system ‘blocks’ again.

Why acceptance and self-care can change everything

The key is not to consider yourself ‘wrong,’ ‘crazy,’ or ‘too extreme.’
Instead, recognise that the inner logic of your own system is unique – and not a mistake in the matrix.
With self-compassion, knowledge, and the courage to set friendly boundaries both externally AND internally, a new sense of sovereignty emerges.

• Promote superpowers: Build slalom courses for your hyperfocus – limit the amount of stimuli, celebrate successes, seek out open-minded people who can tolerate your leaps.
• Embrace the downsides: Allow yourself breaks, retreats, an “emergency plan for sensory overload”. Less social masking, more honesty (including at work).
• Network: Seek out allies – including online – who understand the balancing act between being a rocket and a deep-sea diver.

Conclusion: Genius, chaos, depth – everyone grows from this.

Living with AuDHD is demanding.
But this dual difference opens up new perspectives, genuine creativity – and the potential to act as a bridge builder between worlds.
Those who learn not to fight both poles, but to use them, live a life full of colour – sometimes exhausting, but unique and, with the right support, of incomparable quality.

The next chapter is about how you can find more ease and joy in everyday life with your own resources, nervous system skills and a pinch of (self-)humour.

Neurodiversity – The diversity of the human brain and where AuDHD fits in

For many of my clients, encountering the concept of ‘neurodiversity’ is a key moment: suddenly, it is no longer about ‘disorder,’ “deficit” or ‘problem’ – but about the colourful spectrum of human brain functions.

Neurodiversity means:
Not all people think, feel, filter and process stimuli in the same way – and that is not a mistake, but simply reality. Just as there are different skin colours and body sizes, there are also different ‘operating systems’ in our heads.

What does this mean for AuDHD?
You are not ‘caught between two chairs’ – you are part of a large, growing and valuable community of people whose brains work differently from the ‘neurotypical’ norm.

Neurodiversity – an overview

Here is a rough classification of some of the most common neurodivergent profiles. The table only provides a snapshot – the diversity of neurodiverse brains is much greater! For example, there are also people with dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, synesthesia or Tourette’s syndrome – and many affected individuals combine several of these characteristics.

Neurotype	Typical characteristics	Common strengths	Typical everyday hack / challenge
Neurotypical	Average stimulus processing, ‘standard behaviour’	Flexibility, adapted to society	Not conspicuous – “normal”
ADHD	Impulsivity, inattention, hyperfocus	Creativity, spontaneity, inventiveness	Structure & dopamine hunting, procrastination
Autistic	Sensitivity to stimuli, need for routines, special interests	Attention to detail, analysis, loyalty	Stimulus management, social codes
AUDHD	A combination of both: chaos & structure, sensory overload & emptiness	Flash ideas, systems thinking, lateral thinking	Mixed emotions, various moods and overwhelm throughout the day, self-care
Highly sensitive	Heightened perception of all stimuli	Sensitivity, intuition, empathy	Stimulus filter, emotional distancing
Dyslexia, etc.	Other ways of perceiving/processing (e.g. reading, language)	Spatial thinking, creativity	Adapt learning methods, develop personal strategies

Important:
The boundaries are fluid, many people have traits from different categories – and science is constantly discovering new neurodivergent facets. This table is intended as a guide, not a rigid classification system. Every person is unique, and no form of neurodiversity is ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than another.

Neurodiversity – From deficit thinking to celebrating diversity

It’s not YOU who is “wrong” – society is not (yet) diverse enough to integrate all ways of thinking.

C. Rudolph, polyvagal therapist and EMDR trauma therapist

That is why it takes not only medical diagnoses, but also courage, genuine inclusion, exchange and lived diversity.

What helps:

• Communities and networks with other neurodivergent people (e.g. via social media, forums, self-help groups)
• Appreciation for one’s own special skills
• Exchange of hacks, tools, common challenges

Because:
Neurodiversity is the opposite of ‘disorder’: it stands for a great coexistence of different brains – and every perspective is needed!

SOS – Emergency help for AuDHD: When it all becomes too much

When your mind is racing, your system is overheating, your senses are overwhelmed, or your motivation simply collapses, telling yourself to ‘just relax’ won’t help.
That’s why I’ve compiled these SOS instructions for AuDHD based on many years of practical experience with my clients: clear, concise, achievable – even in the midst of a state of emergency.

Step 1: STOP – briefly place your hands on a solid object
Place both hands on a table, the back of a chair, or simply on your thighs.
Feel the material. Rest there for 10 to 30 seconds.
Goal: Bring your body back to the ‘here and now’ world.

Step 2: BREATHE – Three conscious, deep exhalations

• Breathe in deeply, then exhale slowly, longer and audibly (preferably with a sound like ‘fffff’ or “hum”).
• Optional: Hum slightly as you exhale (vagus nerve!).
• Goal: To switch off the sympathetic ‘flight/alarm mode’.

Step 3: REDUCE IMPRESSIONS OR OTHER STIMULUS
Remove the stimulus immediately!

• Turn off the lights or dim them
• Put on headphones or cover your ears
• Put your mobile phone away briefly or switch it to flight mode
• Do not allow anyone to speak to you: hold your hands in front of you in a “do not disturb” gesture

Step 4: EMERGENCY GROUNDING ‘5-5-5’

• See 5 things (name them: e.g. table, wall, cup…)
• Hear 5 things (noises outside, noises in the room…)
• Feel 5 things (clothes, seat, hands…)

If 5 is too many, 3 is enough!
Objective: Land in your body and in your surroundings.

Step 5: BRIEF SELF-PERMISSION

Tell yourself, even internally:
‘I am allowed to just be here right now. I don’t HAVE to do anything. Everything else can wait. I’m going to calm down first.’

Step 6: FEEL YOUR BODY (after 2 to 15 minutes – as needed)

• Drink water
• If possible, get some fresh air
• Do some small, gentle movements (move your fingers, roll your shoulders, yawn once)

IMPORTANT:

• In extreme situations: No more input (no mobile phone, no music, no conversation)
• Allow yourself to feel your feelings! You are not wrong, you are overwhelmed – that’s okay.
• If possible, put up a note: ‘Briefly in emergency mode – everything’s okay, back in 10 minutes!’

Download tip for your pocket:
Copy these instructions into your notes, print them out or stick them somewhere you often look.

Tip for family members, partners, colleagues:

• No questions, no touching, just give them space.
• Offer water or a place to retreat, but no long conversations.

After an acute episode: Give yourself (and your system) time! The reset sometimes takes minutes, sometimes an hour. Afterwards, if you wish, you can consider whether a small routine or a mini check-in with a trusted person will give you back your sense of security.

If this topic concerns you and you are looking for everyday ways to bring more peace and balance into your life, feel free to sign up for a personal session – I will accompany you on your personal journey.

Welcome.