A new way of understanding addiction: the polyvagal approach

The term ‘addiction’ is something that many people tend to avoid. They don’t want to have anything to do with it. In society, addiction is often associated with images that are not only repulsive but also stigmatising. Scenes of ‘junkies’ in train stations looking for their ‘next fix’ or people caught in the vortex of alcohol consumption shape our collective consciousness.

However, these visible and drastic representations obscure the view of the more subtle but no less destructive forms of addiction that have often crept into our everyday lives unnoticed.

From a social perspective, addiction and addictive behaviour are not only tolerated, but encouraged and even deliberately promoted.

Christine Rudolph, Trauma therapist, psychotherapist (licensed under the German Alternative Medical Practitioners Act), clinical psychologist (in training), systemic therapist and coach

Every day: The hidden faces of addiction

From workaholism to the constraints of the digital world, such hidden forms of addiction are omnipresent and deeply embedded in cultural and social structures. These addictions often operate in secret because they do not receive the attention they deserve, whether because they are socially accepted or simply misunderstood.

This is where the polyvagal approach comes in, offering a deeper understanding of the nature of addiction and its many manifestations.

Instead of viewing addictive behaviour as an individual failure – as is often done in capitalist societies, where it serves as the foundation of the system – this approach offers an understanding that takes into account the entire human organism and its response to stress and social relationships. By viewing addiction through this lens, we can see not only the symptoms but also the underlying mechanisms that keep people trapped in destructive patterns.

In truth, there are many forms of addiction that are more subtle and blend seamlessly into the everyday lives of many people – so much so that they are often overlooked and considered socially acceptable.

Workaholism: In our performance-oriented society, workaholism is often seen as a virtue. People strive for peak performance in their careers, often sacrificing their free time and social contacts. Constant availability and the expectation of always being ‘on’ lead to chronic stress and burnout – classic signs of addictive behaviour.

Mobile phone addiction: Smartphones have become an integral part of our everyday lives. While being constantly connected has its advantages, it also brings with it the temptation to never spend a quiet minute without looking at your screen. This can not only lead to concentration difficulties and a limited ability to enjoy the moment.

Social media addiction: The pursuit of likes and attention on social media can become an obsession. Prioritising virtual interactions over real relationships is a typical characteristic of this form of addiction. The constant availability of social media leads to a superficial perception of social contacts and affects self-esteem.

Internet addiction and television addiction: Escaping into the digital world offers many people a way out of their everyday lives. Whether it’s surfing for hours or binge watching, these forms of addiction provide short-term distraction but promote social isolation in the long term and can lead to depression.

Binge eating: In our emotionally charged world, binge eating is often overlooked as a personal problem. Many people use food to fill emotional gaps or relieve stress, which leads to regular uncontrolled binge eating. Despite a full stomach, the emotional feeling of hunger remains unfulfilled. The consequences are a constant cycle of guilt and shame, which is exacerbated by compensatory behaviours such as vomiting. In the long term, compulsive eating can lead to serious health problems such as obesity and emotional distress, even depression.

Compulsive buying: In a consumer society, compulsive buying often goes unnoticed, yet it drives people into a vicious cycle of buying and regret. The irresistible urge to buy, often without any real need, offers only temporary emotional satisfaction. In the long term, this leads to financial difficulties and interpersonal conflicts, as the short-term relief quickly gives way to feelings of guilt and frustration.

Sports addiction: In a culture that values fitness and physical perfection, sports addiction is often misunderstood as a pursuit of health. However, the compulsive urge to exercise, even when exhausted or injured, reveals the limits of this addiction. Driven by emotional stress management or the pursuit of idealised body images, this overexertion of the body can lead to serious physical damage and isolation, as the lives of those affected increasingly revolve around training, at the expense of personal relationships and other important areas of life.

This is just a small selection of the most common addictions – and most of them are hidden. This means that we don’t even notice them at first. Workaholism and social media addiction are two examples. They disguise themselves as everyday behaviour and are often ignored until the problem can no longer be denied. Awareness of the existence of such addictions is the first step towards countering them and finding solutions based on a comprehensive understanding.

The polyvagal approach (a neurobiological model of emotional regulation) can help here by helping to understand the role of stress and social behaviour in these addiction patterns and address them in a targeted manner.

What is addiction, and what does the nervous system have to do with it?

Addiction – seeks.

Christine Rudolph, Trauma therapist, psychotherapist (licensed under the German Alternative Medical Practitioners Act), clinical psychologist (in training), systemic therapist and coach

What is addiction looking for? It is looking for what it has never been able to find. Warmth. Security. Being held. Being accepted. Humanity. After many disappointments in early life and in the present, it finds this in substances that numb the senses. That suppress feelings. Just don’t feel anything! And a little warmth…

What does the nervous system have to do with all this?

Everything. I will explain this mechanism using our nervous system in conjunction with the polyvagal approach.

What does polyvagal mean?

• Poly: means ‘many.’ In this context, it refers to the fact that there are multiple states or ways in which our nervous system can respond.
• Vagal: refers to the vagus nerve, an important nerve in our body that controls many functions, including heartbeat, breathing, and digestion. It plays a central role in how we respond to stress and social cues.

The polyvagal theory describes the many ways in which our vagus nerve influences and controls our behaviour and emotions.

The polyvagal approach offers a novel perspective on understanding and treating addiction by focusing on the interplay between the nervous system, emotions and social interactions. Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, this theory explains how our autonomic nervous system responds to stress and interpersonal interactions and how this influences behaviour, including addictive behaviour.

From the perspective of the polyvagal approach, addiction is not understood as isolated misbehaviour, but as a complex coping mechanism in the context of the autonomic nervous system. The polyvagal theory emphasises that all our behaviour, including addictive behaviour, is influenced by the reactions of our nervous system to social and emotional challenges and trauma.

What does this mean?

Our nervous system is designed to keep us safe. And it does so instinctively, using all the strategies we have learned. If we were well regulated (i.e. soothed) in stressful situations during early childhood, through being hugged, stroked, listened to, etc., then we learned how to regulate ourselves. In addition, we may do ourselves some good with a yoga exercise, a massage or a walk to clear our heads.

However, if we did not learn this because there was no one there to regulate us, or if we saw other behaviours, then we will intuitively copy them (our system absorbs everything like a sponge until the age of 21. The period up to the age of 7 is particularly critical).

What does a small child do when it needs to calm itself down but has never learned how?

It is under extreme stress and agitation because it knows no way to calm itself down. It may have emotional outbursts or display various external calming behaviours such as excessive thumb sucking, nail biting or other self-soothing measures such as bedwetting.

Attachment behaviour will become difficult without reliable reassurance from caregivers. Often, interruptions in attachment development occur, which later lead to insecurity in relationships with a dependent or anxious attachment style (and other problems…).

Addiction as a coping mechanism

In the polyvagal approach, addiction is seen as a strategy that people use to cope with dysregulated states of the nervous system. When people experience stress or threats, the autonomic nervous system reacts instinctively. Instinctively means that when we are in danger, we react completely reflexively with the oldest part of our nervous system. If stress persists or trauma is experienced at a young age, our nervous system cannot process it in the long term: it becomes completely overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed means too much.

This is particularly critical if it happens in infancy, because babies and children are unable to regulate themselves. If there is no one there to regulate them back to safety, we instinctively resort to other means of reassurance. In childhood, this may be thumb sucking – and later perhaps cigarettes or alcohol.

People resort to addictive substances or behaviours to put themselves in a state of apparent control, security or relief.

This is perfectly normal from the nervous system’s point of view. The crux of the matter is that these mechanisms have been rehearsed for a long time (usually since childhood) and only have a short-term ‘relaxing’ effect, while in the long term they carry the risk of exacerbating existing problems or creating new ones.

Overall, this perspective offers a deep understanding of why people fall into addiction and points to new paths to recovery by focusing on the biological and social foundations of behaviour.

Workaholism: The more you do, the more you are celebrated

Workaholism is one of the most overlooked forms of addiction because it is often portrayed in a positive light. In our performance-oriented society, the relentless pursuit of success and recognition is not only accepted but admired and encouraged. Working overtime? Perfect! Saying yes to everything and neglecting your personal life? You’ve got the best chances! You put your job before everything else? Congratulations! You’re getting promoted! Mostly on your own, but who cares!

This culture of endless pursuit of higher, faster, further… takes its toll. Physically and mentally. The crux of the matter is that you can’t let it show. Otherwise, you’re out. In order to cope with the stress at some point, even when nothing works anymore, most people turn to other drugs, often alcohol. And when that is no longer ‘enough’, they move on to harder drugs.

To function. Trapped in dependencies and addictions.

An absolutely sick system. Built on machine-like performance, not on humanity. It is clear who gets left behind here.

Social acceptance and promotion

Workaholism is often seen as a virtue. People who are constantly available and work overtime are often perceived as role models. Companies reward such behaviour with promotions and bonuses, which further reinforces the cycle. This social acceptance makes it difficult to recognise and address the dangers of workaholism.

The invisible dangers

Behind the façade of success and recognition, however, lies a toxic cycle of chronic stress, exhaustion and burnout. Workaholics risk their physical health through sleep deprivation and increased stress hormones. Mentally, they often suffer from isolation as social relationships are neglected in favour of work.

Alcohol, the people’s drug: a social must-have if you want to fit in

Belonging. Being part of a group. Family. All of these things are deeply rooted in us as human beings. When mammoths were on the move, it was important not to be alone, but to have the protection of a group. This deep-rooted sense of belonging is still the cornerstone of our existence. For example, people become depressed when they don’t have people around them who make them feel accepted.

And then there’s alcohol. A social glue.

Germany is considered a high-consumption country for alcohol in global comparison. 87% of all people between the ages of 18 and 59 have statistically consumed alcohol at least once in the past 12 months.

It is deeply rooted in many cultures and is associated with being together with friends, celebrating and relaxing. It is completely socially accepted, which means that alcohol is completely ‘normal’ and is taken for granted. With good food, at parties, on holiday. Always. In Bavaria (a state in Germany), alcohol was/is even allowed or tolerated at work. ‘Normality’. And no one questions it.

Social acceptance = ‘normal’ meets advertising that promotes and pushes alcohol – and obscures the risks associated with EVERY consumption!

Bacardi feeling… it’s never been so easy… Alcohol means light-heartedness, joie de vivre and community. That sells! Alcohol advertising, such as the famous ‘Bacardi Feeling’ campaign, conveys an image of fun and carefreeness and glamorises consumption. The idea that alcohol is an indispensable part of social interaction. Birthdays, weddings or professional successes – after all, no one would refuse a drink.

Alcohol consumption appears to be completely normal and harmless. And those who don’t ‘join in’ are simply spoilsports. They’re ‘out.’ Exclusion happens every day.

Of course, not everyone becomes addicted, but the fact is that alcohol is a completely legal drug and is deliberately part of everyday social life. This means that, from a social perspective, the entire society is addicted. Industries earn their money from this addiction: manufacturers, marketing companies, the so-called ‘health system’.

When a society is dependent, it lacks clarity. It makes decisions based on its addiction. When a society is dependent, how can it make healthy decisions? How can it bring healthy children into the world? How can it help itself?

An addicted society will exclude anyone who does not subscribe to its addiction.

Digital dependency: social media addiction – the search for recognition

The digital age has fundamentally changed the way we communicate and shape our relationships. While social media and the internet certainly offer many advantages, they also present new challenges.

One of the biggest challenges is addiction. Addiction to ‘likes’, to ‘instant replies’, to ‘scrolling for hours’, to ‘always having to be online’. A deeply traumatised, addicted society is being given yet another addictive substance. The effects affect not only our well-being, but also our ability to form bonds – and connect with others – and with the environment.

Are you always on your smartphone? What this does to your child

Attachment is a central aspect of human development, especially in early childhood. Babies and toddlers are particularly dependent on their caregivers – and essential attachment relationships – being emotionally and physically available. However, the constant presence of smartphones and other digital media impairs precisely that: emotional availability.

From a bonding theory perspective, babies and toddlers depend on the sensitive responses and constant attention of their parents to develop secure attachment behaviour. When parents are regularly distracted by digital devices, children do not receive the reliable and consistent attention they need.

Children are extremely sensitive – constantly being on your smartphone (even when out for a walk with your child in a pram) sends a message to your child: you are NOT important. This leads to feelings of ‘I am not important’ or ‘I am not good enough’ – and later to long-term insecurities in behaviour and attachment (attachment insecurity).

I already see people with all these issues in my work today – what will it be like in 20 years?

An insecure attachment in early life has far-reaching consequences. It hinders a child’s social and emotional development and leads to problems with self-esteem and the ability to form healthy relationships later in life. Children cannot interpret social signals correctly or are unable to form stable relationships with their peers.

Children who experience their parents appearing absent even during intimate moments due to digital devices learn that interpersonal bonds are superficial and must, for example, use digital media as a substitute for parental attention and love. These early-imprinted behaviour patterns impair their ability to develop and maintain deep, authentic relationships. This phenomenon often leads children to increasingly seek digital media as a source of comfort or a substitute for missing parental attention. The search for love finds a substitute: the drug of social media. This undermines the ability to develop effective and stable bonds. Social skills decline and emotional stability becomes fragile.

In addition, digital distractions can have a very negative impact on the image children have of their parents. Children think that they are not that important to their parents, and this can have a long-term negative effect on their self-esteem and mental health.

Addiction to digital media, which is not so obvious, influences the bond between parents and children and thus also child development. It is important that parents develop an awareness and sensitivity to the use of digital media and consciously plan ‘offline time’ – including walks – to strengthen the emotional bond and physical closeness to themselves and their children. A healthy, connected and stable family is the basis for emotionally stable development. This also applies to animals, by the way. All of this means nervous system balance from a polyvagal perspective.

A drug is a solution. It’s not the problem.

Christine Rudolph, Polyvagal Trauma therapist

Drug addiction: Desperate search for a substitute for human warmth

Why does someone take drugs? Why does someone become addicted? From a polyvagal perspective, completely different views of a ‘problem’ emerge.

In my view, drugs themselves are not ‘the problem’; rather, they are – and once were – originally the solution. An unhealthy solution, to be sure. But a solution nonetheless.

A solution for what?

For pain. Endless suffering. In times of overload (stress/anxiety…), our nervous system reacts from its archaic part, and this is precisely the response: our nervous system does not act mindfully, but reacts – out of overload – and does not know how else to calm itself down. This mechanism develops early on: if a child was not or rarely regulated when stressed (held, stroked, calmed down…), then there is a huge void. This void remains. And in adulthood, if the underlying cause has never been addressed, it is reactivated. Mostly completely unconsciously.

Dysregulation of the nervous system and the experience of loneliness

(Drug) addiction develops when the nervous system is permanently out of balance. Chronic stress or trauma in childhood often lead to a state in which the body has difficulty returning to the calming, so-called ventral vagal state (the state in which one feels comfortable). Drugs are then used as a means of finding apparent relief in the short term.

Loneliness and a lack of stable, supportive relationships (usually since childhood) reinforce the need for alternative forms of reassurance. Drugs offer temporary escape and also replace missing social connections, especially if you come from a dysfunctional or traumatic background.

Drugs = emotional coping mechanism

The drug – is ultimately a solution. Intense emotions that are overwhelming and have never been learned to regulate ‘need’ the drug to alleviate unpleasant feelings and reach a state in which they are no longer felt. The state of fear and panic (hyperarousal) or the state of depression and numbness (hypoarousal) is interrupted for the time being.

True happiness – even though this is often described by people with addictions – is not ‘found.’ Short-term ‘happiness,’ or at least the absence of pain, is easier and quicker to achieve with drugs, and this eventually leads to dependence.

Polyvagal therapeutic approach

Therapists who work with the polyvagal approach aim to better regulate their clients’ autonomic nervous system and expand their window of tolerance. This is achieved through techniques that heighten awareness of physical sensations and provide mechanisms for remaining in stress-free states. This approach not only promotes the reduction of addictive behaviour, but also strengthens the ability to interact socially and emotional resilience.

Why it is so important to work through childhood trauma

In most cases, developmental trauma is the underlying issue behind addiction. Sometimes this is conscious, but often it is not. It is essential to work through this deep-seated pain in a meaningful, sustainable and supportive trauma therapy. Ideally (and in my opinion most effectively), this should be therapy that takes a polyvagal approach and also uses body-based therapeutic methods such as EMDR and dream-sensitive yoga to achieve a holistic outcome.

Why? Because otherwise only the effects are ‘combated.’ On the surface. But the depth is missing. Working on the root cause. Because otherwise the consequences of the trauma (dependence, addiction, depression…) remain. And with them, the dependence. Which becomes an ON/OFF switch. And as soon as the next ‘trigger’ comes along, you’re back in it again.

I highly recommend watching this video. It describes how childhood trauma and transgenerational trauma can trigger addiction – and usually do.

I work with many people who have become caught up in dependencies and would be happy to accompany you.

Christine

Trauma therapist, psychotherapist (licensed under the German Alternative Medical Practitioners Act), clinical psychologist (in training), systemic therapist and coach